Thursday, January 15, 2009

The First Months

After the initial joy of having Brennan home and being together as a family of six for the first time, I started on the biggest emotional rollercoaster of my life. I cried more during those first two months than I had in my entire life. I was consumed with worry for Brennan and his future. I really thought I would feel sad every day of my life for the struggles that he may endure. I cried in bed at night, I cried driving the kids home from school, I cried when Eric called during the day to see how I was doing, I cried sitting on the couch with my mom holding my sweet baby. During this time, I spent countless hours on the internet.....looking for hope, I guess. I found this hope through the blogs of other families that have children with Down syndrome. The common theme was that they loved their kids unconditionally, that they were so proud of every accomplishment, that most of the mothers had felt the way I did at the beginning, but the sadness had turned into abundent happiness and joy. And their family lives seemed so normal.....kids playing sports, families going on vacations...all normal family things. So, one day, the tears stopped. I realized that Brennan was going to be fine....he would actually be better than fine, he would be happy and have a great life - with friends, interests, hobbies, and a family that loves him unconditionally.

6 comments:

Bethany said...

Aww hugs to you. The first few months are definitely a roller coaster of ups and downs. I hope things are getting better for you and yes, life can be quite normal ... it is your new normal. :)

Nicole said...

Hi..my name is Nicole and my little Emily was born on Oct 29th and also has DS. My husband and I went through the exact things you wrote about. Hope you don't mind, but we would love to follow little Brennan.

Ann said...

I jumped of from the Baby Center board and just wanted to say that you have a beautiful family.

Hector and Jennifer Varanini Sanchez said...

I'm so happy things are feeling better. Brennan is just adorable (as are your other little ones!). Soon your tears will be tears of joy. Hugs!!!

Michelle said...

That was my life exactly 2 1/2 years ago. I remember the first few days and weeks. I cried more in that time then I probably have my whole life combined. The tears would flow and flow especially when my mind wandered to the future. The more support we received from family and friends, especially our new T21 friends the less often the tears came. I still have fears and worries for Matty but I continue to keep the faith. Brennan is going to soar - wait and see!

Tricia said...

Thank you for this! these could have been my words! My son is just now 2 months... but still lotsa tears..its the un known that is so overwhelming.