The First Months

After the initial joy of having Brennan home and being together as a family of six for the first time, I started on the biggest emotional rollercoaster of my life. I cried more during those first two months than I had in my entire life. I was consumed with worry for Brennan and his future. I really thought I would feel sad every day of my life for the struggles that he may endure. I cried in bed at night, I cried driving the kids home from school, I cried when Eric called during the day to see how I was doing, I cried sitting on the couch with my mom holding my sweet baby. During this time, I spent countless hours on the internet.....looking for hope, I guess. I found this hope through the blogs of other families that have children with Down syndrome. The common theme was that they loved their kids unconditionally, that they were so proud of every accomplishment, that most of the mothers had felt the way I did at the beginning, but the sadness had turned into abundent happiness and joy. And their family lives seemed so normal.....kids playing sports, families going on vacations...all normal family things. So, one day, the tears stopped. I realized that Brennan was going to be fine....he would actually be better than fine, he would be happy and have a great life - with friends, interests, hobbies, and a family that loves him unconditionally.